8/3/2009

a livid morning with this tongue-tied
wide-eyed mind
driven to a distant mood
trying to remember you
there’s a face I tried too hard to replace
and I now I can’t place
the sound you made
whenever you
used to play those games
those awful mind tricks
keeping me awake
keeping me afraid

I hate to say I miss the way
you fucked with me
knew I would be
fine with it

such a foul-mouthed bitch
and I loved every inch
of the skin
you pressed against my own
--
just enough disinterest
to keep me awake
lying still
waiting ‘til
there’s nothing left to say
--
I never drove you
anywhere I wanted to
never showed you
the life I built around
this town
when I was without
you
on my mind

I shaped a whole life
before you crossed the street
and drove your car
away from me
how could I forget
all the things I did
while coping with
the shit you said

I remember late nights
with tens of friends
I remember sunrise
on a passenger side
and I remember
my scraped hands and sore feet
from fighting off
those corporate companies
and defacing
public property
before you came
and sunk your teeth in me
I remember
so many many things

and I want them back
tonight
I’ll take this town
and tear it down
I’ll live the life
I used to love
because I wasn’t
caught in my thoughts
ignoring my friends
feeling sorry for myself
around every bend
hoping the road
would take me somewhere
I’d forget your name
and why I tried to care
about someone
who wasn’t fun
who treated me
like some fucking bum
stabbed my back
and split my heart
go fuck yourself
it’s time I start
anew