11/30/2009 pt. 2

hold it down and smile
hold it down and grin
hold down what’s better left to the wind
hold down the heat the defeat the unrest
hold down that weight
keep it in your chest
pound your fist on the walls every chance you get
re-break that hand if you get too stretched
too worn thin and broken wide open
where everyone can see what’s behind those teeth
those awful ugly words you keep
waiting for the chance to go home
and be released when you’re stewing alone
re-break your hand and hide in
that need to be whole again
re-break the bone and be left alone
with your tired
awkward
pained and fear-filled days
wondering if you’ll ever
be able to write
the same away
re-break your hand
see what happens
will it break you
or make you a man?
--
this voice in my head
I want to spill it on a page
I want to scream it from a stage
I want to expel everything
this voice in my head
for once
I don’t want
to hear it
--
black is the color of my true loves eyes
devoid of emotions to light that fight
that fire between that wrecks everything
I’d hold her close
stare into those
deep black holes
get lost in those
deep black holes
grow old in those
deep black holes
go cold in those
deep black holes
when the frost bite hits
I feel the warmth from it
know this is where I belong