a mess of distress and raw flesh
rubbing off skin
to see what lies beneath
gnawing at nails until cuticles crack
burrow tooth down to bone and see where it goes
deep breath
devour that epidermis
revealing what you’ve kept under covers
under clothes
under excuses and complaints
enough to keep your life on display
but not enough to ever be touched
walking on glass around the bedroom
hiding under bar stools and bad moods
something is sitting ill at ease
something is off and needs to be
freed
torn wide open to cover these walls
put up for show so the world finally knows
there’s not a damn thing beneath this heap
this mass of flesh and bone
nothing inside
did away with your life
from fear of being too well liked
--
always forgetting the strain
the eye-bulging, impulse-following pain
heart beating too many milliseconds to record
wondering what I do anything anymore for
beating fists and foreheads against walls
‘til they fall
and I’m bloody-knuckled and unconscious to boot
running these legs until the muscles are slack
unable to lift these feet
flat on this back
fighting the urge to break every window I see
throwing chairs at front doors
when I feel the drive to leave
taking cars up curbs and through store fronts
just to see
what would it do to me?
eager to be displeased
breed this insanity in me
eager to lash out and destroy
oh I am a sad, sad boy
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