4/28/2011

I believe in crushed teeth
fire wide eyes and uneven breaths
running until feet are too sore to shift
and these ankles are aching for change
rage under pain under insane claims
and distrust of every face in the room
hiding this mind from these eyes I once knew
I knew nothing and now I am through
sick of convincing myself to trust
I’d rather be driven by degradation and lust
than living this moral, righteous life
standing above and beyond those I once
felt some connection to
age is attacking my sense of distress
my ability to lash out and destroy
I’d rather sit silent than let violence consume
control my any and every move
fists turn to forgiveness
open palmed because I wish that
there was more to express than the rage in my chest
the awful confrontation of silence and seething
these teeth need to stop being clenched
whether they melt out my mouth or disappear in my head
I need to speak easy again
no longer grating my words as they pass
through these devilishly tight pearly whites
no longer focusing fire from my eyes
I’ll see this life without such bright lights
existing through the night time
soothing this sordid mind
I decline
I refuse to admit my abuse
I will bear this
without falter or complaint
maybe I’ll murder my mind given time
or maybe I’ll turn up a saint
let’s see where this goes.