2/7/2007

This beds too big for one
and too much for the two of us
so we’re hiding in the corner
beneath the window sill
doing the best we can manage
to ward off the sun’s affront
breaking into the bedroom
in hopes to insist on awake
but we’d rather stay this way
sound asleep without anything between
but our deep breaths
holding our bodies at length
--
she won’t listen
he’s been hearing
but dismissing
and over and over
the letters burned up
shined in her eyes
but the flames weren’t enough
she was fucking
she was fucking
she was fucking up
her life celibacy was too much to be
something she could abide by
so now and again
she’ll search for one man
one single soul to take home
but he leaves
he goes out
before she gives up
there’s nothing in touch
that is driven by lust
and they’ve given each other
everything else
but that other man
that real world man
the guy on the side
in the front of her mind
the real one
the man she adores...
there’s nothing more
nothing more for me
--
I can feel this winter
too much to be healthy
wind scratching in my skin
crawling across my face
flaking my dry skin away
and there was so much warmth before
it’s like winter hit
right after you left

maybe I govern the weather
and you kept me heated and cool
so it was never too frigid for living
I was never so frozen with you
but these days I lay and shiver
in a bed with a pillow and a sheet
but there’s nothing else with me
so the cold crept in slow

I once was dreaming of leaving
but now I’m insisting on staying
and I’m tired and sickened from waiting
but I’m too used to misuse to move
I could last another evening
spend another night on your mind
or with you blowing through mine

blowing through the jasmine
that’s frozen and cracking
like my hands
like my face
like my frame
like everything