I wonder under the influence of my friends. So many deadly nights I’ve spent. You always bring out the daring in me. Turn me a round, whisper what you see. Is there anyone still standing by your side. Am I what’s coming up in front? Did you turn and walk away? These days I sleep but I don’t feel at rest. These days I’ve been trying. I’ve been trying my best. The longer I level with you, the shorter I get. Cutting off inches to match your line of vision. The better, the worse. So pretty it hurts. So angry it’s painful. So sad it’s absurd. I remember much better what I know I should forget. I regret every second I’ve spent in your bed. Not because it wasn’t worth it. I just wish that I’d never left.
Call me up and tell me the truth. Is there a good end to all our abuse. Laying in darkness in search of that light. Talking to walls every day and each night. Sometimes I get the feeling that I’m not feeling a thing. All this affection was invented. You’re too distant to make a difference. Then you tell me that you miss this. It kills me. Shoots me dead. You’re like a bullet to my head. You’re the best I could ever get. It’s too bad I never did.
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