4/12/2011

Wake up with a throat full of blood
spit dissent in an attempt to get it up
choking close to the window
head goes straight through
i’m losing my cool

I need to breathe something different for once
this air is aching in my chest
and why do I hold out for this?
These mornings aren’t worth waking
these nights aren’t worth taking
head on and still strong
I want to be weak
snap this spine
and I’ll be fine
I’ll have an excuse
for feeling abused

method acting gets me nothing but a face
I’m eating evenings to swallow my disgrace
no safety in self assurance
no certainty in speaking my own mind
collect contusions on the front of my skull
from beating my own thoughts against the wall

these nights this town
these faces around
I’m feeling old
done with everyone I know
even more so with those I don’t
I’m too tired to move
and too tired of you
too damn awake to take anything in stride
I’m breaking through this state line
and rearranging my life

I’m fucking out.