last night I was told what I can and can’t feel
divining from my mind what’s real or not real
I sat in a room with a clear view of you
turning those eyes to anyone who
could keep you from turning to
me
sitting without limbs to hold onto
just a torso at a bar with a drink
no eyes to hide because the skull was gone
no mouth to shut off or tongue to bite on
no fingers to point or legs for escape
I was caught and I couldn’t do a goddamn thing
last night I was told what I can and can’t feel
I choose to feel nothing until it feels real
I’ll sit silent and livid until the fire is dead
I sit and keep drinking until this weight leaves my head
I’ll float through these rooms and ignore what feels true
and anything false, I’ll embrace and misuse
last night last night
in the back of my mind
sitting and singing until I could find
a time when this life was irrevocably mine
and I wasn’t living on someone else’ time
last night last night last night last night
I’ll feel however the hell I like
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