9/2/2011

fill the page with rage and say
what never should have been said
replace my face and shy away from my name
was I ever in your head?
these city lights are burning bright enough to cast a glare
I haven’t quite the convalescence to stand and scowl and stare
sick of your disinterest
erasing and replacing the past
filling all your evenings with
that which never lasts
guiding those eyes to walls
you declare you won't be confined by
well aware of the world outside
but you’d rather stay
in your mind
right?
--
I can’t pretend
well, I can
but I shouldn’t
I shouldn’t pretend.

8/21/2011

tracing your face in the remains of your scent
gathered on the pillow where you placed your head
the memories never seem to live up to the event
and the retellings are too brief
to do anything but be
an escape from the mundane
the lack thereof of your frame
garnered in blankets
overflowing with flames

wandering through work shifts
and suppressing the dissent
that wells up from within
when someone is stuck without
there’s no touch
no shared breath
no affection
and no rest
just empty sleep
to try and be
close to ok through the days

sometimes it’s better
to try and forget her
and sometimes
it just doesn’t work
sometimes
it just fucking hurts.

8/12/2011

I’ll be this way
for days and days
wandering back rooms and side bars
waiting on curbs for strange cars
seeking sordid evenings
with strangers and bad blood
looking for likenesses
of people I once loved
hiding in the past
hiding from the past
a ghost in a city
close enough to feel at home
but as far as can be
from what I know
--
you were a breath on my neck
a whisper in my ever attentive ears
you were nothing and then all
I could eat sleep breathe believe
and then
it was back to the mundane
and I
I can barely remember anything
--
this is longing
this is strain
this is too much to explain
this stress is all that I have left
and I can’t catch my breath
this is heaven on earth
and that’s what makes it hurt
I am hellbound
burned by the blessed
I am cursed
I am worse than the worst.
--
face to the wall
I won’t talk
make eye contact
do anything
at all
just keep my face
to the wall.

7/7/2011

baby, you’re a bad match
you won’t light
can’t burn out
no fire to fuel your desires
so go let yourself be
discarded on the streets
won’t strike or spark
so don’t start
just remain as you are
flimsy
ready to be
refuse
washed off with the rain.