12/23/2010

I’ll take you through all the dark parts of this town
and see what the sun gives up
when it gives us
something new to look at
where have you been
since you forgot about friends
where did your heart go
when you were afraid to go home
I’m singing to the seasons
and I’m walking past the streets
searching for security
in oceans and trees
wading into waters that are too dirty to drink
I think
I’m trying to replace the space
that was occupied by your perfect face
in my mind
there’s a gap
a deep synapse
that I just can’t seem to fill
and it kills
knowing you’re not here for me
or with me
whichever one hurts worse

12/10/2010

I stopped listening to you well before you moved
yeah the sentences never seemed to sink in
wrote out the lines that I had on my mind
pretended they extended from your lips
full o’ shit
yeah I was oh so full o’ shit

it amazes me baby when I remember the best
moments I swore to high heaven to forget
sometimes I sleep and you creep into me
sometimes your memory infects my dreams
push that face away
I’m pushing that face away

don’t stand in the corner and talk to some friends
don’t down a few drinks and pretend you're content
standing on separate sides of the room
your eyes drift to my side and your feet
will keep pulling you to me
and the second
oh one second
you’ll be in arm’s reach
and me?
fuck that
I’ll leave

I don’t want your pity or touch
poisonous lips pressing words at my neck
you never shot for my ears
never stared straight in my eyes
pushed to the side
keep pushing me to the side
I don’t mind
I’m out of fucks to give

so I’m leaving
and I’m driving
and I’m dying
but it’s slow enough to ignore
I don’t notice anymore
how every day feels less okay
I’ve hit the grey
I may be at a standstill
but I’m still standing so
fuck you
fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou

12/5/2010

illicit attention but forget where it’s from
remember when you felt like
you were never wrong?
now the wrong outweigshs the rights
and the right turns every night
take you closer to home
than you wanted to go
take a left
there’s a road you haven’t traveled yet
take a detour
there must be more
to these back country landscapes that take
forever to return from
facing the moon and the sun
shunning one or the other
based on the day
there’s honesty hidden
behind that hard face
smile and fake it
or truly believe
there’s a reason to be
on these streets
going until you don’t know where you’re from
and no one
no one
knows your name.
--
I’m eager to leave this behind
forget these pipe dreams
get back to being
the standard of living
shifting through the days
right foot and then left foot
contained by the strain
I am holding and believing
that I really shouldn’t leave
there’s a home in here for me
oh believe
there’s a house to build and lead
oh believe
there’s a family to raise and praise
to carry every single weight
to find someone
to love someone
until the sun
eats everyone
oh believe
there’s something here for me.