10/31/2010

bad news on week nights
I forgot what sunrise felt like
sleeping through weekends
barely speaking to my friends
just drifting drifting drifting through the rooms
sitting and singing songs I used to
feel some connection with
before I fell into this
disinterest and tired life
these weak wings aren’t lifting anything
flightless and foul
goddamn I got down
when’s the step that lifts me up again?
how many stairwells do I have to run up
before my breathing is steady
and I feel ready
to shoot for the fucking moon
instead of wallowing in old saloons
drinking shit I don’t even want
and forgetting why I hadn’t forgot
all those precious moments
memories overloaded
with bad times and good eyes
tired smiles and love lives
that didn’t really come to be
can I please
go back to the night when I sat at your house
‘til 4 in the morning
without a doubt
that I should have stayed
the whole night
the next day
why
fucking dammit
did I leave?
--
fist to the wall
it’s as close as I get
to punching myself
as hard as I can
and as much as I deserve
it doesn’t even seem to hurt
these days may break
these bones may creak
these days may hurt
these hands hardly work
but it’ll be just fine
oh it’ll be all right
never surprised
never wide awake
holding on to tomorrow
forever ignoring today
fist to the wall
forgetting it all
used to think with my heart
used to follow my soul
pretended I was affectionate
not hardened and cold
why try to be warm anymore
if I’m not parking at your door?

why stop driving at all
why stop driving at all
why stop driving at all
why stop driving at all
fist to the wall
why stop driving at all

there’s nowhere to go
if I can’t call you home
why stop driving at all?