10/31/2010

bad news on week nights
I forgot what sunrise felt like
sleeping through weekends
barely speaking to my friends
just drifting drifting drifting through the rooms
sitting and singing songs I used to
feel some connection with
before I fell into this
disinterest and tired life
these weak wings aren’t lifting anything
flightless and foul
goddamn I got down
when’s the step that lifts me up again?
how many stairwells do I have to run up
before my breathing is steady
and I feel ready
to shoot for the fucking moon
instead of wallowing in old saloons
drinking shit I don’t even want
and forgetting why I hadn’t forgot
all those precious moments
memories overloaded
with bad times and good eyes
tired smiles and love lives
that didn’t really come to be
can I please
go back to the night when I sat at your house
‘til 4 in the morning
without a doubt
that I should have stayed
the whole night
the next day
why
fucking dammit
did I leave?
--
fist to the wall
it’s as close as I get
to punching myself
as hard as I can
and as much as I deserve
it doesn’t even seem to hurt
these days may break
these bones may creak
these days may hurt
these hands hardly work
but it’ll be just fine
oh it’ll be all right
never surprised
never wide awake
holding on to tomorrow
forever ignoring today
fist to the wall
forgetting it all
used to think with my heart
used to follow my soul
pretended I was affectionate
not hardened and cold
why try to be warm anymore
if I’m not parking at your door?

why stop driving at all
why stop driving at all
why stop driving at all
why stop driving at all
fist to the wall
why stop driving at all

there’s nowhere to go
if I can’t call you home
why stop driving at all?

10/27/2010

I’ll drag it through the city
let the weight break through the street
pull up the concrete
expose the sewers
let the stench infect
let the senses connect
this hideous vision of a societal dream
the perfect balance of despair and defeat
countries gone to shit
maybe I’ll photograph it
drag this heavy lense along
and capture every wrong
make a bill
off scenes that could kill
if we weren’t so detached and distracted
the world is dying
we don’t see a thing
‘cept green
trying to make a profit off any and every thing
--
who needs skin when the moon is high
who needs lips when the breeze is cool
when the sun set looks just right
when the grass is always greener when you’re sitting on it
who needs touch when the skies are clear
who needs love when the world is up
don’t bring me down
don’t bring me down
don’t
bring me
down

10/18/2010

this air is cool enough to eat
I can taste these days
and they pass through me
like a cool wind
or a warm breeze
altered perception of temperament
I knew the heat so well
and it up and left
so this winter wind is bound to sit
ill at ease in me
let the cold take hold
these eyes grow wide
frozen open and rising to the sky
let it precipitate
I’ll wait
for this skin to get thick and rock solid
I’ll hide in
this form of a man that I am
this mess of a boy I represent
this illogical codger on the side of the road
that hates the heat and loves the cold
can I go
back to the old way of living
watching my breath leave my lips
and loving the taste of it
this heat
it does nothing for me
--
you
are a mess
and I wish
I could be
disheveled
with you