3/17/2010

stuck with thinking on dying
these days I’ve been minding
my own business
for the past two weeks
everything else around me
seems
trivial
fuck it all

I know the world won’t stop this month
the sun will shine and the rain will come
I’ll sleep too late or rise and shine
and spend my time on someone else’s time
I’ll sleep too late or rise and shine
pretend I’m better
pretend it’s fine
swallow that lump in my throat
never let the dissent show
the anger at whatever is sitting above
dragging away the people we love
as soon as we realize
how big an influence on our lives
they’ve been

sometimes I look outside
feeling the burn of freshly blurred eyes
swallow my sense of pride
and let out a shaky sigh
and I wonder
how do you say goodbye
--
lay in bed with my head to your head
my chin drifting into the curve of your neck
my lips grazing against that cheek as you speak
a bedtime story to me
once upon a time before we’d officially met
some guy who did something to mess with your head
you grew and you learned not to fall for that shit
now you stay closed and won’t let anyone in
so here we lay with fingers laced
arms entangled and legs locked tight
lips to lips for a goodnight kiss
but we’re distant and constantly concerned
this is how you sleep sound when you’re hurt
holding each other so tight
but sleeping alone every night
good night. good night.